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April 25 A sabatacleMy motivation to write something worthwhile on the blog has been on a consistent decline. So it's time to take a break, haven’t decided whether its temporary or permanent. March 03 Training from hellHmmm .... interesting training routine, but you can't argue with the results.
In search of happinessThe eternal quest, the search for happiness. Depending on whom you ask or what you read, the answers are many. The only certainty, the feeling is fleeting. In that case the only thing that matters is our ability to find a little joy in every situation, regardless of where we take ourselves. The significance of our choices, they tell us what we think is important at any given moment in time. January 14 Skiing and laundryHaven't been on skis for six years. But all the skidding around in Seattle inspired me to go skiing on Saturday. Can't say I fell on my a**. To put it simply I now know what my clothes go through during a single wash/dry cycle. PS: No other skiers were harmed during my 'runs', which is saying something ;). December 10 The optimist, the cynic, the realistThree personalities on a spectrum, which one are you closer to?
About life and people:
- The optimist:
All people are good and can be trusted and everything happens for the best.
- The cynic:
No one can be trusted and no one will ever be truly happy.
- The realist:
Respect everyone you meet but let them earn your trust. Shit happens, find happiness in the moment and enjoy the fact that you're alive. December 07 ...Thank you $<insert word of choice>$Had a pretty stressed out day at work, you know the kind where you get in and shuttle from meeting to meeting, getting only 15 mins at your desk. Some of them are interesting and exciting, you make breakthroughs, decisions, learn something new. Others are the perfect substitute for sleep aids and some are the kind where mandatory attendance could force a confession out of the most hardened criminal if it got him out. Why does one have to deal with irritants and still remain calm? Why can't a man have just enough time to enjoy lunch in peace?
Decided to drop off some old clothes at the local United Way collection centre on my way home. Traffic was a b*tch as usual, regretted being in the car rather than on the bike. Heck some people should be banned from driving, especially those that forget you can turn right on a red when there's no traffic.
It was turning out to be the kind of day where I was irritated with everything around me.
But got to the centre and dropped off the clothes. On my way out happened to notice a picture of an elderly gentleman huddled under a cardboard box in the rain. Compared to that poor old soul, I (dumaz) need a rap on my head for forgetting I've been dealt a pretty good hand of cards. So for a really nice day ...Thank you God.
See:
December 04 A saga and a prophecyIts kind of funny, an event occurs, a saga begins. Before it unfolds you have an inkling of how its going to end, a prophecy rings in your head. The saga continues for months, maybe years, you know your role in the story and you stick to it. Then the prophecy begins to come true in more ways than one.
The question you have to ask yourself is did you cause it to come true? If so can't you change it and if you could would you want to? In any case, don't forget to savor the experience and learn the lessons life showed you along the way. November 28 Icy roads rockI love the Emerald City. People here are sh*t scared of the snow and ice. It snowed here this evening (starting around 530), the city shut down, completely. The roads were clogged with traffic that was hardly moving, buses stopped running, bars and restaurants were closed (you expect a blizzard when you read a sign that says ‘closed due to weather’ on a door), heck even the cell phones stopped working (freaking overloaded networks). For a really exaggerated report see King5, I guess the city shut down because we weren’t prepared for it, but then it rains here most of the year and most drivers aren’t prepared for that.
By 800, the roads were empty. I got into my car and drove across the bridge. The freeways were deserted, perfect. I have an old run down Civic, sturdy car, gets me from A to B when the bike’s useless. The tires are almost worn out; it’s obviously not a four wheel drive, but the heater and the radio work, doesn’t leak, the engine and brakes are …eh ... okay. Basically the kind of car most people leave parked when the roads are iced over. But driving on icy roads is the most exhilarating experience one can have in a car. You have control, but you’re riding a fine line. When you turn you have to consider what I like to call the slide effect :) and making that perfect slide is like painting the Mona Lisa. Took me almost an hour to get home (a drive that takes less than 20 mins on normal days with no traffic) but the drive was worth it especially driving up hill (yes there’s a trick to it and no I’m not sharing).
Top the drive off with with gyros, scotch, a Sea Hawks win and 'stumbling' onto the Stumbling Monk, a Belgian beer and wine pub hidden away right next to my place that I had no idea about, all in all an awesome day. Now if I could only afford the tires to try the same thing with the bike.
November 20 Bikes, Coffee and RainAhh ... the work week begins and there's tons to do. Thank god its a short week, the holidays will give me the time I need to catch up with the team.
As for Seattle, the beautiful rain's back and so are the long nights and the short cloudy days. The bike's calling, time to tune her up, get the rain gear out, treat the boots and begin my night rides. Never knew how much I missed my daily double tall no-whip mocha till I actually picked one up today. We tend to take the little things for granted don't we ;). Looks like winter's gonna be fun. On a completely different note, check out: My family and other animals
Based on a book with the same name by Gerald Durrell, this is one movie that comes pretty close to the book and the book was really cool. Subtle, british humour at its best, had scotch coming out of my nose, so avoid drinking while watching the movie. September 13 A star was bornA star was born one night, With a purpose unknown But an urge to burn. And burn it did Steady, constant, enduring, giving. Spreading light and warmth In the empty dark nothing. Drawing to it the unwanted, the wretched, the wrecked. Swirl in the warmth they did Bathing in refreshing radiance Growing stronger and empowered by the star. And burn it did Steady, constant, enduring, giving. Time went by, a slow crawl, No more were they unwanted, wretched or wrecked. Strong and powerful they were, Thriving in the fire of the star. And burn it did Steady, constant, enduring, giving. The void, the nothing, a forgotten memory, The warmth was forever The light was their strength. Forever was the star. And burn it did Steady, constant, enduring, giving. Time went by, a raging rapid, The urge was gone, Leaving a cloud of confusion, Who are these that surround me? It was them that stole the urge. Unbridled rage replaced chaos, And burn it did The strong, the empowered and itself Till all that remained was the void, the nothing. A star was born that night, With a purpose unknown But an urge to burn. August 20 What we have and what we loseIts funny how people take things for granted. If you're like me, you're all for living in the moment, but then there's a balance that needs to be struck. If you get too carried away in this moment you'll lose something that's valuable.
Sometimes it’s the little things we do or not do that tips the scale against us. Our egos blind us from our follies and we hardly notice the coming storm. But then if the only way to realize the value of something is to lose it, so be it, maybe we'll learn something from the experience. You might never see it or be lucky enough to get it back, that's the gamble of life. August 08 A soul for the takingWatched "Kingdom of Heaven" on the tube a couple of days ago, loved the following line from the movie:
So true and so easy to forget.
For a moment gloss over the fact that the quote (based on a story during the crusades) talks of Virtue and God. Take for example something as simple as a couple of drinks or a smoke when out with friends. Do you let yourself drink more than you can because another seems to be drinking? Do you smoke even If you've stopped smoking because another seems to be smoking? Its so easy to shift blame to the one that seems to provide the temptation. But the one who loses is the one that is carried away. The other will go on doing what he/she does, unaffected by your state of being, you'll be drunk and the other might still be sober. Simple but true. Something I hope not to forget. (Reminds me of a post about St. Paddy's day)
Note: Eva Green looks peculiarly alluring in the movie, maybe its the eyeliner and the black hair. August 07 LunchEvery Saturday morning starts with the same old set of questions…
Coffee: Venti or Grande, Iced or Hot, Xtra shot or regular, Hold the whip or not?
The answer depends on the remnants of alcohol in my bloodstream from the previous night, so that's an easy question to answer. What's for lunch?
A little tougher to determine, since it might involve variables like the choices of the company I keep and my willingness to spend time pondering this mother of all questions. Mother of all questions? Well let me put it this way, it starts of with "What’s for lunch?" but then you need to answer questions like:
Eat at home or head out? If at home, who's cooking? (certainly not me if the answer to the first question was Venti Iced Xtra shot and hold the whip) If out, What kind of cuisine? Which specific restaurant? Who's driving? Etc This Saturday was no different.
First Question: Coffee: Grande Iced no whip Mocha.
Second Question: What’s for Lunch? Portland!
That settled it. Jumped in the car, drove 170 odd miles to Portland. Stopped at a really nice pub, The Rams Head, got myself a burger, the "Wilbur" (1/3 pound Oregon country grown beef patty medium rare, hickory smoked bacon, fried egg, Tillamook cheddar, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles with a side of tater tots ... yummy), a drink (soda, no beer, I'm a responsible driver ;)), followed by a smoke and drove back up to Seattle. Beautiful day, clear and warm, not too hot and most importantly no conversations, just the car, the road, the music and the wind. A little traffic on the way down, none on the way back, wanted to take a nap but Floyd kept me up.
The great part, the answer to the second question inevitably answered the third question that follows lunch, What's the plan? July 27 Of superheroes and humans I remember a conversation with a friend about Superman (the comic book superhero) and how he'd read somewhere that Superman is always Superman, he was born Superman, will die Superman, goes to sleep as Superman and wakes up as Superman. Clark Kent is Superman in costume and not the other way around.
 Its kind of interesting. Consider this, here's a dude who's indestructible, faster than a speeding bullet, shoots heat rays from his eyes, sees through things and flies, but he chooses to hide all these qualities and fit into society to lead a normal life. In fact he goes out of his way to prove he's a wimp and a klutz. Talk about peer pressure.
Some of us do this don’t we? Underplay our strengths or hide our weaknesses to average out in a group. But then there are moments when we let loose and soar, moments. Then its back to being average. Because the more you soar the more lonely you are as you push/ are pushed away from the ones around you.
That’s why I prefer Aquaman as a superhero. He was born Aquaman, will die Aquaman, goes to sleep Aquaman, wakes up Aquaman and has no mask. He is neither human nor atlantean, he chooses to live as Aquaman both on the surface world and in Atlantis even if it means being alone in a crowd.
 See:
- Superman
- Aquaman
July 24 The questIt started like any other Sunday. Birds chirping, the voice of his angel pulling DumAz back into reality. He sensed it almost immediately, something wasn't quite right. He'd been asleep for almost ten hours and yet he was sapped. His body was dripping with sweat. Heat and Humidity had drained him in his sleep, like vampires sucking the life blood from a helpless victim. The birds weren't singing with joy, they were crying with pain.
It had to be done. The beasts had to be beaten into submission. There was only one way, the quest for the 'Vornado' had to be undertaken. The totem of protection over these siblings born to Summer. So it began, the long and arduous journey, from the glens of the Meyers to the homes of DePots. But the 'Vornado' was lost and as the day ended DumAz headed homeward empty-handed. There was a time when DumAz didn’t need the 'Vornado'. Growing up in the land of Sun, Heat and Humidity were his friends, his body and mind were strong enough to keep them at bay. But years of living in the land of Rain, he'd forgotten the secrets and now to survive he needed the 'Vornado'. ---
 All I wanted was a fan, a simple mechanical device that circulates air in my apartment. Who'd have thought that it would cost me most of the day visiting every freaking store in the greater Seattle area to find out that they're out of stock. We're out of fans. Correction, I did find one industrial strength monster blower at the Home Depot, but I'd need a new apartment, a card with a higher limit and a truck to transport it back home.
I did have another choice, a portable cooler, but that's overkill. I like the weather, the only thing the apartment needs is air circulation and I spend 'nuff time in air conditioned rooms anyway. Ahhh… to leave the porch door open, switch on the fan and sip on a cool glass of OJ. Simple dreams.  Amazon to the rescue … ordered one online, should be here in 3 days. Murphy's law, it starts to cool off when I get it, but summer's not done yet and there's always next year assuming I don't break this one as well (that's another story.) July 22 HoarderBeen a scorcher today … bright, hot and dry as a bone. Beautiful. Got back from my ride, looking forward to a nice cold glass of water. Unlocking the door little did I realize that this worthless piece of wood was a dimensional portal transporting me straight to hell.
Fade out:
Seattle is a city of moderate highs. Most buildings are not air conditioned, including mine. I live on the top floor and have an apartment that faces the sun most of the day. Fact:
The difference between an oven pre-heated to the maximum and my modest abode is that the oven maxs out at about 600 degrees.  Thoughts:
Open the windows, open the porch door, where the f**k is that freaking fan? Oh yeah you kicked it across the room and broke it last year, dumb ass. Note to self get a new fan … possibly tornado strength. This glass is for leprechauns … the gallon jug looks better. Get the ice. Hmmm… I wonder if I can fit in the fridge, its empty anyways. Got to get my mind off the heat. Hey let's clean the place. Yea, its been sometime. Do a good job. Lets start by moving stuff out of the bedroom and give that carpet a good cleaning. Move the mattress and box spring.
Hmm … what's this on the floor? Looks like a earphone … …tick tock … tick tock … 3 hours of ticks and tocks…
Realization:
I hoard stuff. Its been a couple of years in this place and I'm amazed at the stuff I found in the bedroom. … a sampling... 6 earphones (4 with only one bud functional, I guess I abuse my earphones)
5 wrist watches (I wear the same one everyday, I think 3 of them need new batteries) 1 dozen white socks (still in their sealed pack, if I only remembered these) 3 binders of RFCs, publications related to networks and security (faded ink … for a private school 'SC sure needs better printers and I guess I needed a photographic memory) 8 passport sized photographs (these don't look like me anymore) 1 5-pack of AAA sized energizer batteries (I have no idea where number 6 went) $25 worth of change in pennies and dimes (who said I don't have a financial plan and savings) 1 pair of brand new black leather dress shoes (I need clothes to go with these shoes) An unused but completely functional 17" old school monitor Accompanied by 3 old school keyboards and mice 50 (5 * 10) feet of network cable (I use a wireless router) Receipts, mags and sketches (I need to scan some of these sketches esp my 'specialities') Sticky notes to myself (hmm… so this table looks like bamboo) 1 broken floor fan (is that thing smirking at me? Revenge is a dish best served 'hot')
… end sampling…
The bedroom is now dust and junk free. If I navigate this impromptu obstacle course and get to the main door, I have gifts for the dumpster.
Shudder to think what I'll find in the hall and kitchen, since the bedroom was supposed to be the cleanest. It’s a good thing I don’t expect company. But 'nuff work for the day, I earned another ride and a venti iced mocha. July 21 Keeping it simple From a person of few words I've morphed into a person of many.
What happened along the way? What changed my conversation and writing style? Why do I feel the need to explain myself using so many words? "Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell." - William Strunk Jr., The Elements of Style
Like a mariner without a sextant, I've drifted away from the rules that keep things simple. If our speech and writing reflect the state of our minds, then mine needs some order. With loops and branches that go no where, these neural pathways need realignment.
Then again, I might have morphed from a person who cared about sharing opinions to a cynic who has no passion for dialogues.
Thank you MT, for pointing me to Mr. White.
July 19 Loyalty Considered a virtue in many cultures and defined as "the state of being loyal," where loyal is "faithful to a person, ideal, custom, cause, or duty."
Does that mean a person who is loyal should do nothing to 'harm' or 'hurt' the object of his/her loyalty? What happens when one makes a mistake or unintentionally makes a choice that leads to a consequence that could 'harm' or 'hurt' this person/ideal/cause/duty they're loyal to?
My opinion, its easy to be loyal without the screw-ups or the temptations that make life interesting. When one of these screw-ups do happen, the true strength and integrity of the individual comes to play. Do you hide and hope your choices and their consequences go away? Or do you clear your conscience by facing up to your actions? The question then is, will it be okay? That depends on the other half of your loyalty equation and the strength, maturity and integrity you might find there. One thing though, the past never goes away and it does come back to bite you when least expected, the only thing to do is defang the beast, remove its surprise.
Life is interesting, we all have choices to make. July 11 Perspective Been spending time reading my favorite books all over again. Finished reading "Illusions" - Richard Bach, last night.
Stating the obvious: books feel different as you change. This time around the quotes that I keep going back to are:
"Perspective— Use It or Lose It. …."
"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
When you look at a problem and/or situation way after you've passed it, the memories that come back are the lessons you learnt during the experience. Not to say some of these lessons aren't bitter (especially when you realize your stupidity led to the situation in the first place). But the problem itself is no longer such a big deal. The difference, perspective. Now wouldn't it be cool if we could use that knowledge on demand, especially when we're facing a problem that needs solving.
My recent spate of contemplation has reminded me that's its time to imagine my "blue feather" and pay more attention to the lessons I've been ignoring. |
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